• Candice Chenade

Galentine’s, not Valentine’s!

In my big, big 31 years of life, no man has ever bought me a valentines gift or taken me out on Valentine’s Day. I’ve not even received so much as a card! Even with being in a long term relationship, still nothing.

In fact, the only gifts I have ever received on Valentine’s Day are my twin brother and sister being born and my other brother making me a card when he was 6 years old and he probably doesn’t even remember it, but I do.

I never really made a big song and dance about Valentine’s Day but I have stated that it was important to me and I would love to get a gift, a card, be taken out and shown some appreciation. But still, nobody ever did this for me.

Not to say that these relationships were bad or lacking in general, I think it’s just a Valentine’s Day thing. Maybe these boys and men have never really bought into the whole “Love Day” thing. Maybe they just didn’t feel it was necessary to show me how much they appreciate me on this one particular day and give in to the masses. Or maybe they just didn’t care what was important to me. I will never know.

I used to find myself comparing my Valentine’s Day to other women’s Valentine’s Days. I used to sit at home and resent the fact that women are being taken out to swanky restaurants or even being proposed to. I would just be sat there being alone, on Valentine’s Day, with nothing.

Now don’t get me wrong, I did get some beautiful flowers once, but it was February 15th by the time I received them and as we all know February 15th is national side chick day. I appreciated them, nurtured them and put them pride of place in my home and I damn sure was nobody’s spicy rice side dish.

So, as the years have gone on, I’ve dropped a few hints here and there but overall, I’ve honestly given up on the whole concept of focusing on what my partner can do for me on Valentine’s Day. It is now so funny to me how I used to see someone giving me a gift as validation for my own worth. Like my life is not a gift itself. So like many of my fellow queens, it has now become Galentine’s Day! A day of Candice Appreciation and sometimes the girls too!

I cook myself my favourite romantic food, I do my hair and makeup, have a long bath, spend time marinading my skin in my Palmer’s Cocoa Butter and buy myself my favourite ice cream (well maybe not this year because I am on an ice-cream ban ALL FEBRUARY!) But I will shower myself with love!

Regardless of relationship status, we should be feeling good about ourselves on “Love Day” and every day. If you find practising self love hard, Galentine’s Day is the perfect excuse to do something for you. Something that truly feeds your soul. Like eating that whole tub of ice cream and doing it GUILT FREE! (I really should take my own advice.)

If you don’t want to be alone, get some girls together and spend time appreciating each other, talk about the things you love about each other. Drink a likkle rum punch and do a mini pamper day or even some popcorn and actual Netflix and chill.

But sis, it is ok to spend time with yourself. Go and buy yourself those £170 Nike vapormax trainers you have been eyeing up since August and just go ahead and treat yourself. Put on some pretty underwear or some over the top shoes and be fabulous. Basque in your own glory girl! But do it for you! Nobody but you!

Even if you are in a relationship or you’re not and your partner, “special friend,” or even a secret admirer decides to shower you with a gesture of love, accept it gracefully. Be grateful that they want to show you some appreciation on “Love Day.”

But remember self love is the best form of love and you cannot love anyone if you don’t know how to love yourself first.

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